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Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others. — Cicero In the Montessori community, the lessons of Grace and Courtesy are integral at every level. From young infants to adolescents, children are taught to live together in community. Grace and courtesy goes beyond the common social niceties of “please” and “thank you” by demonstrating the value of courteous and empathetic behavior and communication as a vital life skill. Gratitude and Thanksgiving in the Montessori Environment Gratitude is one of the lessons of Grace and Courtesy. We teach children to say “thank you” as a rote habit. But to truly understand the value of being thankful builds character through “generosity, humility, wisdom, joy, integrity and trust.” (Arrien) To help children learn to value gratitude, we can incorporate it into our daily Montessori activities. With younger children, we can learn to talk about what we appreciate. We begin by modeling, using our words and tone of voice to...

…no one acting on the child from the outside can cause him to concentrate. Only he can organize his psychic life. — Maria Montessori The Absorbent Mind, p. 222. I have been involved with Montessori education for over 13 years. When I talk to prospective teachers or parents, I find that they always ask the same questions. They want to know about the materials, the idea of mixed age grouping, the ideal class size, the amount of adult involvement, and the concept of freedom. In chapter 22 of The Absorbent Mind , Dr. Montessori addresses all of these questions. The Absorbent Mind, Chapter 22: Social Development How were the Montessori materials chosen? Although the materials used in the environment were developed by Dr. Montessori, it was the children who chose which ones were important. “We started by equipping the child’s environment with a little of everything, and left the children to choose those things they preferred.” (p. 223) It seems that the children were partial to certain mater...

What is the difference between redirecting and distracting children from unwanted behavior? The biggest difference is in the approach. Redirection involves guidance; distraction merely diverts attention. Let’s look at a few examples and see if we can tell the difference: 1. Baby Sarah gets upset and cries when Mommy leaves for work. As Mom closes the front door, Sarah’s caregiver gives Sarah a toy and says, “Look at this pretty toy.” Redirection or distraction? This is distraction. There is no acknowledgment of Sarah’s feelings, and the toy is unrelated to the event. Redirecting Unwanted Behavior Versus Distracting in the Montessori Environment 2. Miles likes working with the small hammer that he uses with his peg board. He starts to use the hammer on his puppy. Mom says, “Miles, you may only pound your peg board with the hammer. You may not use it on the puppy.” She guides him back to the peg board. Redirection or distraction?  This is redirection. Mom takes the t...

Help me to help myself. —Maria Montessori The Child in the Family, p. 72. In her book Children Who are Not Yet Peaceful , Donna Bryant Goertz says, “We wisely welcome into our classrooms that small number of children whose behavior strikes us as eccentric, complicated, challenging, or confusing. These children are the indicators of how well the classroom is meeting the needs of all the children. They react when others don’t — and react overtly in ways that cannot be ignored. We have found that to assimilate these children and support them in their personal transformation, the class must be providing the maximum benefit to all children.” (Goertz, 2001) If we truly believe that all children can and have the right to learn, then there is a place for all children in your Montessori environment, including those with learning disabilities or who are “at risk.” Guiding Children with Learning Disabilities in the Montessori Environment It is true that some children will require additional time...

The child is the spiritual builder of mankind, and obstacles to his free development are the stones in the wall by which the soul of man has become imprisoned. —Maria Montessori The Absorbent Mind, p. 221. When my son was a toddler, he was intrigued by the minutiae of his environment. Ants crawling along the pathway were fascinating to him. Their tiny parade seemed to race from one place to another. As his tiny foot lifted in an attempt to learn what would happen if they were crushed, I gently stopped him, saying, “Ants are living creatures. Let’s watch where they are going instead.” Following their linear progression, we quietly observed them carrying food back to their nest. The Absorbent Mind, Chapter 21: Children’s Possessiveness and Its Transformations This type of care and observation was repeated with all living things. Flowers were examined to count how many petals they had or observe the delicate shades of their color variations. Glistening spider webs were viewed as fragile g...

Children construct their own characters. —Maria Montessori The Absorbent Mind, p. 208. The Absorbent Mind, Chapter 20: Character Building is the Child’s Own Achievement Montessori tells us that the child’s sensitive period for character building is between the ages of three and six. This is the result of “a long and slow sequence of activities carried out by the child himself between the ages of three and six.” (Montessori, p. 208) Surprisingly, Montessori says that character building does not happen from our teachings. “At this time, no one can ‘teach’ the qualities of which character is composed.” The reason behind this is due to the fact that one’s conscience begins to function between ages 6 and 12. Up until then, children cannot understand or “visualize the problems of good and evil.” (Montessori, p. 208) Adults often use the phrase “use your words” with young children when assisting them to solve conflicts, but this is rarely helpful to the children. The idea that children know w...

To let the child do as he likes when he has not yet developed any powers of control, is to betray the idea of freedom. —Maria Montessori The Absorbent Mind, p. 205. Previously, we discussed how to add variety to the Montessori three-period lesson to help children learn to generalize, or transfer information. Behavior interventions will also play a role in developing good judgment and impulse control. Helping Children with Executive Function Challenges in the Montessori Environment The Montessori environment is set up to allow freedom of choice. Yet, as the opening quote warns us, giving the child freedom when he is not ready for it will backfire. A child who has not developed self-control will not be able to make good choices in work or behavior. Cognitive behavioral interventions are used to help children think about their behavior and how it affects them and those around them. When I started teaching, I would tell my high-school students to “make me proud” when we went on trips. When...